Why I Keep Doing This TrueMan Thing

I started The TrueMan Experience almost two years ago in my house. I figured with the fans of Emery and the audience we had built with BadChristian, I could get a group of guys to come over and try a night of just men being more open and honest. More honest than they had been in years. 

I was right. Shockingly right. For those of you that have been to an event you know what I mean.  

Most men do not meet or hangout with other men. It just happens less and less as we get older. Sure we go on double dates, go to each others kid's birthday parties, or maybe watch some sports together.  But meeting for deeper insight into each others lives rarely happens.

The church has tried to address this, but in my opinion, it's been mostly a failure. The church has an agenda and attaches stipulations to what masculinity and manhood can be.  The churches idea of masculinity is a men's breakfast or maybe a camping trip where all of a sudden you realize the Bible is awesome and you're a better Christian.  I'm generalizing here. I do think churches are trying but it's not built on real freedom.

Being a Christian is different than figuring out your identity and what masculinity might mean to you. They can obviously work together and influence each other, but to me it always feels like a bait and switch.  

"Men! Come To Our Church And Learn How To Be A Better Man!" Then when you get there you realize it reduces masculinity to bible reading, praying, and being nicer. Most stories are told in the past tense and it's about where people have come from and not where they are.

I want the now. I also want it to be okay to speak freely about the now.  I want to be able to say what I'm thinking and maybe what I'm thinking is wrong.  It's good to say wrong things. How else do you learn what could be right? What I mean is, it should be okay to say you might not love you're spouse anymore. That you lied about something at work and don't feel bad about it. That you think porn isn't a big deal.

Because if you don't say those things out loud then they live inside. Then not only do you have unresolved thoughts that aren't helpful to you, but now you are also spending brain capacity and energy on hiding. 

No more hiding. You and I are screwed up in lots of ways currently. That doesn't mean we are less masculine or weak. In fact it can be the opposite. Sharing truth about yourself is really hard. It's ugly sometimes. But it's how we are able to find some peace. It's how we face adversity and anxiety and gain ground. It's how we come to understand and define our identity and masculinity. 

So I'm coming to the NC, SC, FL, GA, and TN in October, and I'd love for as many dudes that can, to come out for a night.  

It will also be very fun, we'll drink and eat and laugh and sing. I don't ever not have fun! So tell your friends and I hope to see you soon.