How Scary Is It To Be A Man?

Recently President Trump (that's still feels crazy to write) said that it's "a very scary time to be a young man in America." 

What do you think? Is it? I'd love for you to write me your thoughts because I want to hear as many different views as I can. I'm not scared of ideas. All ideas. 

Here's my thoughts. I think it is tough to be a young man, an old man, a famous man, a skinny man, a fat man(I know this personally), or any kind of man. 

Being human and alive isn't easy!  So why would it be easy to be a man. It's hard to be anything. 

But, Trump is talking about the cultural climate surrounding sexual assault and sexual assault claims.  So on that specific topic I agree with Trump. WHAT?!?!?!

It's hard to be a man and figure out how to pursue a woman sexually. The reason though, is that we have been given the worst education about sex, consent, romantic relationships, and communication about sex, that a human could possibly receive. 

Sex in school is talked about in terms of the physical reproductive actions that the bodies go through. 

In church sex is talked about in terms of "WAIT WAIT WAIT! STAY AWAY!!" Don't do it until you get married and then it'll be awesome. That's mostly a lie. 

In our cultural it's talked about in terms of men are horrible pigs and toxic and everything wrong with sex is men's fault. A lot of it is our fault or responsibility but women have a lot of responsibility too. 

We live in a society where it seems as if every man is a potential rapist.  That's not true, but it is very true that we have a very serious and dangerous problem with rape and sexual assault. Even just our thought life with sex is messed up.

Women are frightened and must be aware of their surroundings at almost all times, because a male could do something horrific. I'm nervous sometimes for my wife to go jogging by herself after dark or to even be in a grocery store parking lot by herself. 

Men do bad things. Really bad things. 

I want to make that clear and it's should be something we all realize and acknowledge. But grouping all men together does nothing to help fix these crimes from happening. 

We are too late. After sexual assault or rape happens it's too late to stop it. Common sense right? But I think people aren't seeing this clearly.  Sending someone to jail doesn't stop the rape from happening. A jail sentence isn't really justice and doesn't help a woman to feel safe again or help her recover. It's nowhere near enough! 

So what can we do? What does work? Teaching boys and girls.

We wait until boys and girls get to their teens to talk about sex and their bodies. That's stupid.

Our children can handle education about their bodies. They can understand sex and what that should be like when they are older and of legal age to have sex.  In fact they must learn earlier in life if we want real change.

Our young boys need to know that a girl or a woman's sexuality isn't something for us to go after, possess, or to run from until marriage. Human sexuality is actually beautiful and powerful. It should be something we recognize and learn about each other. 

It's actually fine and normal to acknowledge that a woman or man is beautiful or even sexy. But the real issue is when, pardon my pun, that trumps everything else about them. 

When we put sex on the highest tier of value, we end up leading people to value sex more than the person. That leads to all kinds of problems and not just assault.

So this is all stuff you know. But here's what I'd like to encourage you to do. 

Let's be more open and honest about sex.  Let's respect our children and tell them what sex and romantic relationships should look like if they are healthy.  

Let's have some deeper discussions about consent and how to be confident in our sexuality, rather than making it so taboo. 

Women have been told to never talk about their sexuality and that it is sacred. If a woman IS confident in her sexuality she can be called a slut. That's disgusting and has forced women to be silent.  

Women love sex just as much as men. But we aren't listening and  also haven't been taught how important listening is to our sexuality and our relationships.

Sex is good. It's is for us. It is not meant to be used against us. Let's talk about it. Let's listen.  Let's respect and love our children and explain to them how to be healthy, loving, sexual adults.